by Rev Robert A Wendel
Be eager to love because that gift comes from the Holy Spirit. Do not stir up or awaken love until it is ready. This is my beloved and this is my friend. (James 1:17, Song of Solomon 2:7, 5:16 NRSV). To get heaven’s help with romance you must live out your faith. Pray about loves attraction. True romance involves both the ‘heart and the head.” Real love is spiritual. Chronic health problems will impact any relationship.
There are dozens of factors that attract you to one person or another. We form snap judgments based on physical attractiveness, likeability, competence, money wisdom and financial stability. We are drawn to people like us with a similar family history, tradition and religious preferences. Smiling is a sign of someone who is emotionally well adjusted and has a good personality. Romantic love lasts about two years. Then we grow into a deeper more mature love connection. Get to know your future possible in-laws or step children
When trying to decide if couples will stay together, one indicator is how they describe their courtship, hoping that you chose each other through mutual agreeability and similar beliefs which reflect their computability. These are things like daily habits, past-times, child rearing ideas, political leanings and their goals.
If you’re ready to date, think of it as fun, interesting and possibly enriching. Be sure you are aware of what went wrong in your last serious relationship. In the new relationship: Be friends. Spend time together. Laugh together. Be a good and patient listener. Trust, leave some separate alone time and space.
There are bound to be differences. But, over time your brain gets used to the other person. Sharing understandings reduces anxiety, depression and stress and may boost immunity and longevity. The ultimate key to solid relationships is a good verbal communication. Instead of arguing, give each other the benefit of the doubt by hearing each other out first.
“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible,” wrote screen writer Nora Ephron. American poet Ogned Nash said, “Whenever you’re wrong, admit it. When you’re right, shut up.”